


it's impossible to read that guy

by dearhappy



Series: that's how we do it in the nine-nine [3]
Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV) Fusion, Alternate Universe - Detectives, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2019-12-26 00:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18272030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearhappy/pseuds/dearhappy
Summary: "How do you know so many criminals?""Unlike you, I do have a life outside of work," Jason says."I have a life outside of work."Jason gives him a flat look, "All of your friends work here."Wally scoffs, looking away, "That's not true. I have other friends.""You do?" Billy asks, clearly surprised. "Who?"





	it's impossible to read that guy

**Author's Note:**

> *insert joke about how long it took me to finally finish writing this after only having part of it written for so long*
> 
> enjoy!!!

 

 

 

“What’s going on here?”

 

Wally startles, turning to face Bruce with a sheepish grin. “Hey, Captain,” he greets nervously, “You see. Uh, Dick is late for the first time and we’re taking bets on what happened to him.”

 

Bruce tilts his head, eyes darting around the group. “So instead of working, you’re gossiping over your colleagues tardiness?”

 

“Well, when you put it like that..." Wally says, trailing off and chuckling nervously.

 

“Captain’s right,” Kaldur says, “We should get back to work. Dick’s alarm probably didn’t go off, it’s not a big enough deal for us to be betting over it.”

 

“Um, yes it is!” Wally insists, shooting him an incredulous look, “This is the first time _ever_ that Dick’s been late."

 

Bruce hums, nodding in consideration as he checks his phone. “And he would never make the foolish mistake of relying on a non-battery operated alarm. There’s no way it’s that.”

 

Wally grins excitedly and says, “Exactly! See Captain gets it.”

 

“I bet he was taken in his sleep,” Jason says, nodding sagely, “We’ll find his body decapitated and abandoned in a ditch somewhere in a few weeks.” He pauses, “Or a dumpster. Probably a dumpster, this is Gotham after all.”

  
“Now that's what I'm talking about,” Wally says excitedly, despite the concerned looks from the others. “It's  _super dark,_ but much more believable than Kaldur’s alarm clock theory.”

 

“What if he is missing?” Megan wonders, “I mean, it’s not like him to show up late to work.”

 

“Even if he was kidnapped I don’t think we’d have to worry about him. I mean, it's Dick we're talking about. He’d be able to get out of it,” Conner points out.

 

Artemis frowns, watching the clock on the wall. “Yeah, besides it’s probably just something boring like the line at the bank was too long.”

 

"Are you forgetting we're in Gotham? He probably got mugged or like, is being held hostage at the bank," Billy says, clearly concerned.

 

"And again, it's Dick. He'll be fine."

 

“This seems... fun. I’d like to add a theory,” Bruce says finally, not looking away from the elevators. “I bet he got dragged into an open investigation of some sort.”

 

Wally nods eagerly. “Not going to lie, that just sounds like wishful thinking. But still better than Sarge’s theory,” he says, watching as Bruce looks almost amused. At least he hopes it’s amusement.

 

Wally takes a deep breath, turning slightly so he’s facing the group as a whole. “But,” he starts, clapping his hands together, “You’re all wrong. Dick obviously got dragged down into the sewers by the mole people, the Queen of the mole people would’ve wanted to make him her husband. He’s one of them now and we will miss him dearly.”

 

“Mole people,” Megan echoes, “I thought there were killer crocodiles in the sewers?"

 

“I always forget how weird Gotham is,” Conner mutters, shaking his head.

 

“It’s just an urban legend they tell kids to keep them from going into the sewers,” Kaldur says, “Like the boogeyman.”

 

“You’re not from Gotham, how would you know?” Billy asks.

 

“Aren’t you from Fawcett?” Artemis asks, looking at Billy.

 

“I didn’t have to grow up here to know the story is simply a myth,” Kaldur says diplomatically.

 

“Are you sure? Have you been in the sewers, Sarge?” Billy asks, crossing his arms over his chest. “You have no proof that he doesn’t exist.”

 

“And you have no proof that he _does,_ ” Kaldur replies.

 

“I’ve lived here all my life and I can tell you that Sarge is right,” Artemis says. “The Killer Croc thing is fake.”

 

Jason shakes his head, “Nah, there’s definitely something down there.” He turns to Bruce, “Tell them, boss man.”

 

Bruce offers a nod, “There’s been complaints of disturbing noises coming from the sewers for years. Some sightings as well.”

 

“See,” Billy says smugly.

 

Artemis shakes her head. “But we don’t know how reliable those are. People lie all the time.”

 

“I’ve seen him myself,” Bruce says, nothing in his expression betraying his even tone.

 

They all look towards Bruce, wondering whether he’s being sincere or not. It’s always hard to read him. But as Wally opens his mouth, movement from the entrance catches his attention.

 

“Richard Grayson,” Wally greets dramatically as Dick walks forward only to come to a stop with a confused look. He continues in faux worry, “You are so incredibly late! Where have you been? We were all worried sick!”

 

"I'm eight minutes late." Dick levels him with an unimpressed look, shaking his head, “You once showed up an hour late to work.”

 

"We're not talking about me," Wally says, "This is about you and why you are late."

 

"It's not that big of a deal," he shrugs.

 

“Detective Grayson,” Bruce says, in the stern tone that the squad has secretly dubbed his Captain voice, “You will tell us why you are late and you will tell us _now._ ”

 

Dick looks at Bruce immediately with a searching gaze. After a moment, he slowly says, “I... was up all night going through old case files again, when I noticed-”

 

“Again? Do you ever sleep?” Jason asks abruptly. When Dick opens his mouth he raises his hand cutting him off a second time. “Wait. I just remembered, I don’t actually care.”

 

Dick rolls his eyes and starts again, “As I was saying, I was going through case files when I noticed that there was a connection between them and a current investigation both here and in the nine-six. So, I had to go run down there to pick up some files.”

 

“Damn, I was hoping it’d be more interesting than that,” Wally says disappointedly.

 

“He’s a workaholic, what did you expect?”

 

"I wish the Killer Croc tore off your leg,” Jason says, looking right at Dick.

 

Dick looks bewildered as he watches the group start to disperse to get back to work. Wondering what he missed out on as everyone mutters in disappointment and Bruce looks almost smug.

 

“Looks like Captain was right,” Wally says, “Jason give him his winnings.”

 

Dick looks at Bruce for a long moment before shaking his head and following the rest of the squad. As soon as everyone’s gone their separate ways, Jason turns to face Bruce.

 

The pot of their impromptu bet is in a ziploc bag and includes five dollars from each of them, plus the king sized chocolate bar and punch card for free coffee put in by Wally. 

  
Jason gives Bruce a pointed look, shaking the bag gently. “Congrats. Here’s your winnings,” he says, reaching in to take the money out before handing it over. “I’m keeping this though, cheater.”

 

“I would never cheat,” Bruce says, sounding offended by the accusation. But there’s a clear hint of amusement in his expression.

 

 

-

 

 

Bruce clears his throat as they gather into the conference room for their morning briefing. “A local art curator was found dead in his apartment. Along with several artworks missing from his place," he explains. “Crock, you’ll be the primary on the case. Take Grayson and M’orzz with you.”

 

Artemis nods as she grabs the file Bruce hands over to her.

 

Jason whistles lowly under his breath, leaning back in his chair, “Good luck with that, Crock.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Artemis asks, scowling at him.

 

“You have Grayson as a secondary,” Jason replies with a distinct tone that makes it feel like it’s an obvious thing.

 

Dick let's out an offended noise, sending a glare in Jason's direction, “What the hell is that supposed to mean? I’m a great secondary. Not that you would know, you’re not even a detective.”

 

Conner makes a noise of disagreement, earning a hurt look from Dick, he shrugs, “You’re not that great at being a secondary.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

"You're not the best at teamwork," Conner says.

 

Dick scoffs, "I am, too, the best at teamwork, you guys need to be better."

 

“He has a point. You always want to be in charge and can’t give up control,” Kaldur explains.

 

“You mostly just do whatever you want. And expect us to know what you’re trying to do without actually telling us what you’re doing,” Megan continues, frowning slightly. "It's like you expect us to be mind readers or something."

 

Wally nods, “Yeah! Like that ninja disappearing act you always pull during investigations."

 

"You don't like asking for help even when you need to," Conner tacks on.

 

“First of all, you're being a hypocrite. Secondly, this is slander,” Dick argues. He turns towards Artemis, “Don’t listen to these liars.”

 

“But you have been getting better at letting others take control of the cases,” Billy says.

 

“Only listen to Billy, he’s the only non-liar here.”

 

“I’ll be honest you do seem to do all of those things,” Artemis says.

 

“Ha!” Wally says, elbowing Dick slightly.

 

Artemis rolls her eyes, “You have no place to talk, you’re not any better.”

 

Wally’s face falls as he makes an offended noise. At the same time, Dick triumphantly says, “Ha!” before covering his mouth to uselessly stifle the laughter that follows.

 

Wally opens and closes his mouth several times looking at Dick with a look of betrayal before glaring at Artemis, “I’m a _delight._ You, on the other hand, are not.”

 

“The first three cases we worked together went horribly because you couldn’t let go of your petty issues with me,” Artemis says, glaring at Wally as she lists off everything that went wrong because of him. “Also you’re immature, stubborn, and terrible at taking responsibility.”

 

“I am not!” Wally argues.

 

“Yes, you are,” Jason says.

 

“Let’s not forget that time you broke the window in the interrogation room,” Dick points out. "Then tried to blame it on me."

 

"Or the time you made an arrest without sufficient evidence and we had to stay here all weekend to find evidence to back up your claims," Kaldur says.

 

"Seriously? That's all in the past! You guys need to learn to move forward," Wally says dismissively. "It's not healthy."

 

"That happened last weekend," Megan says.

 

"But I was right about the case," Wally defends.

 

Artemis scoffs, "You still ruined everyone's plans."

 

"And the window thing happened yesterday," Dick adds.

 

"This is bullying," Wally says, shrugging nonchalantly. "You're all bullying me because you're jealous that I'm the best detective here."

 

"I think you mean second best," Dick says, smirking as he nods to where the leaderboard shows that Dick is now in the lead of their bet.

 

Conner’s brows furrow as he squints at Wally. “Is it bullying if it’s all true?”

 

"The point is that you're both extreme pains to work with," Artemis concludes.

 

“I think you’re a great detective, Wally,” Billy offers with a grin.

 

“Thank you!” Wally says, pointedly glaring at the others. “At least _somebody_ appreciates my hard work and skills. Unlike Dick, who’s supposed to be my best friend, and _should_ be defending me”

 

“There's no friendship in competitions,” Dick says, side eyeing Wally. "Besides you weren't defending me."

 

“You weren’t defending me,” Wally mocks under his breath, definitely not pouting as he looks at Dick.

 

Dick laughs, shaking his head as he exaggeratedly pouts back. “Are your feelings hurt?” he asks teasingly.

 

“Gross, stop flirting in the workplace,” Jason says.

 

Wally huffs as he quickly turns away from looking at Dick, ignoring both Jason’s comment and the significant look that Artemis is sending his way. She’s smirking, and Wally can feel his cheeks warming.

 

“Dude, where’d the Cap go?” Wally abruptly says to shift the conversation away. He notices that the remaining uniformed officers trail out at the realization that the Captain isn't present.

 

“Oh, he left as soon as you idiots got off topic,” Jason says.

 

"You're the reason we got off topic," Dick points out.

 

"Don't blame me for you unprofessionalism, Dickhead," Jason says, flicking a piece of folded up paper towards Dick's face.

 

Dick ends up moving fast enough that it hits Wally instead.

 

Kaldur walks towards the podium that Bruce had been standing at. “I suppose I should finish the meeting,” he says, looking over the notes that’d been left behind. He glances up to see Jason leaving without a word.

 

“Does Wayne do this a lot?” Artemis asks, “Because the other day I turned away for a second while we were talking about a case and when I looked back it was like he just disappeared.”

 

Megan sighs, “He does that all the time to everybody. You get used to it... sort of.”

 

Dick snorts, shaking his head, “He’s dramatic like that.”

 

“Like you can call anyone dramatic,” Wally says.

 

“Wally thinks Wayne was raised by ninjas,” Conner says, clearly amused.

 

Artemis raises a brow at that, “seriously?”

 

“What? Captain’s entire career he’s caught the worst of the worse and he like never had to use his gun to do it,” Wally argues, “Tell me that isn’t some ninja shit.”

 

“Don’t forget the robot theory,” Megan says.

 

Wally nods, pointing a finger, “You’re right. We still haven’t proven he _isn’t_ a robot.”

 

“I don’t buy that he hasn’t had to use his gun,” Artemis says.

 

“It’s not that he hasn’t had to, it’s that he chooses not to,” Dick says, “Throughout his entire time on the force he’s only ever used his gun a few times. And it’s always been non-lethal shots.”

 

Artemis frowns, “How do you know that?”

 

“I’ve read his files," Dick says, the  _obviously_ goes unsaid but seems heavily implied by his tone.

 

“Dick is our very own walking encyclopedia,” Wally says with a grin, earning an eye roll from Dick.

 

“Yeah, if encyclopedias also somehow knew private information,” Conner adds, sending a pointed look in Dick's direction.

 

“I’m a detective,” Dick shrugs, not bothering to deny Conner's claims. “And part of being a detective is always knowing absolutely everything about your surroundings, including the people, at all times. Speaking of I can tell you what everyone is doing tonight.”

 

Artemis shifts awkwardly and says, “That’s not part of being a detective that’s just being creepy.”

 

Dick scoffs, “No it’s not.”

 

"It kind of is, dude," Wally says.

 

“Dick may know a lot of things, but you know who actually knows _everything about everything and everyone_?" Billy asks, "Captain Wayne."

 

There's a murmur of agreement. "That's true," Wally says. "It's kinda cool, but also scary."

 

"I wonder how he does it," Megan says.

 

"Oh, so when Captain does it, it's cool but when I do it it's creepy," Dick mutters bitterly, rolling his eyes.

 

"Exactly," Wally says, "you know. Apart from his general terrifying-ness and weirdness, Captain really is the whole package." He pauses, a look of consideration on his face, then says, "Actually maybe even including those things."

 

Dick practically chokes on air but quickly covers it up. "Are you... Seriously?"

 

"Come on," Wally presses, "You have to be blind to not notice how hot the Captain is. Also he's a great detective and master of all trades. So, you know, the total package."

 

"He is very attractive," Megan says, nodding along.

 

"You know," Dick says, far too abruptly to be casual, "We have crimes to solve and we better get to that before Captain comes back."

 

"Right, yes," Kaldur says, "You should head out and work your cases."

 

Artemis gathers up her files, turning to look at Megan, “Do you want to drive to the scene together?”

 

Megan grins, nodding, “Sure.”

 

“What about-” Artemis starts to say, before stopping abruptly when she notices that Dick is no where to be seen. “Where’d he go?”

 

Wally looks around, even though it's easy to guess who she’s talking about. “Man, I hate when he does that,” he says, shaking his head.  

 

 

-

 

 

“Oh, hey, did you get kicked off the case already?” Wally asks teasingly when Dick comes back to the precinct.

 

“Ha-ha,” Dick says as he plops down into his seat across from Wally, sending him a look, “No, I didn’t. I’m being a good secondary and looking into a lead, if you must know."

 

"Sure," Wally says, "whatever helps you sleep at night."

 

Dick fails to hide his smile and shakes his head as he turns towards Jason's desk. "Hey, Jay," he says, earning a distracted hum in response. "Do you still know that guy who used to run jobs for Penguin?"

 

Jason doesn't look up from his computer screen as he asks, "Weird scars or the one with the glass eye?"

 

Wally looks up abruptly between the two, with a concerned expression at how casually Jason answers.

 

"Which one was the one who used to steal art for Penguin?"

 

Jason pauses for a moment. Then says, "Oh, missing hand Greg. He's been out of the game for awhile."

 

"Yeah, but he'd know about where someone would try to sell stolen work, right?"

 

"I dunno, probably," Jason shrugs. He glances over at Dick, who's staring at him expectantly, "I guess I could make some calls."

 

"Great, thanks," Dick replies turning back to his desk, turning on his computer. He catches Wally looking at him strangely, "it's for the case."

 

"Right, no. That's not," Wally pauses, looking past Dick towards Jason. "How do you know so many criminals?"

 

"It's Gotham," Jason says, " _Everyone_  knows criminals here."

 

Wally sighs. "I'm serious."

 

"Unlike you, I do have a life outside of work," Jason says. 

 

"Psh, I have life outside of work."

 

Jason gives him a flat look, "All of your friends work here."

 

Wally scoffs, immediately looking away, "That's not true. I have other friends."

 

"You do?" Billy asks, clearly surprised. "Who?"

 

"You know," Wally says, shrugging, "There's-"

 

"Family members don't count."

 

Wally makes a face at that, mentally crossing out the names he was about to say. "Okay, well, there's..." he trails off, then abruptly says, "Oh! Hartley! He always says we're friends."

 

"That doesn't count either," Jason remarks. "You try to arrest him every time, that's part of work."

 

"It's, uh... It's a complicated friendship," Wally says, making a displeased face as he turns away, not wanting to let Jason win this round completely. 

 

"How is Hartley anyways?" Dick asks. 

 

"I don't know, I haven't seen him since last time he tricked us," Wally answers just a bit bitterly. "Anyways, we were talking about Jason's criminal friends not mine."

 

"We were not doing that," Jason says. "And they're not my friends."

 

"Then, how do you know them?"

 

"None of your business."

 

"He volunteers at outreach programs, you meet a lot of interesting people in those things," Dick adds in, a slight smirk appearing on his face. 

 

"What? Seriously?" Wally says, his eyes widening in surprise. "But he's-"

 

Jason gives him a look as if he's daring Wally to say something about the fact. "I'm what, West?" he asks evenly. "Go on."

 

"You're just... You know-.... So-"

 

"Hey, where's Sarge?" Conner asks, when he walks into the bullpen. Completely oblivious to the scene he interrupted.

 

"Oh, thank God," Wally mutters, the feeling of relief rushing through his system.

 

"He's in a meeting with Bruce," Jason replies, sending Wally one last look. Conner nods, moving to take a seat at his desk.

 

Wally pauses, looking back at Bruce's office where the blinds are still closed. "He's still in there?"

 

Dick looks up at that, then looks to the office. "How long has he been in there?"

 

"Awhile," Wally answers, shrugging as he goes back to looking through his emails. "I wonder what the meeting is about."

 

Dick hums in agreement, still watching the door with a curious gaze before turning back to his desk and flipping open the file for the case.

 

 

-

 

 

When Kaldur finally emerges from the Captain's office, he looks wary as he closes the door behind him. 

 

"What was that meeting about?" Dick asks almost immediately, ignoring Conner trying to call Kaldur over.

 

Kaldur falters slightly before straightening out his posture. His wary expression clearing as he meets Dick's gaze. 

 

"We were just discussing ways to make the precinct more efficient," Kaldur answers before quickly walking towards Conner's direction.

 

Dick hums again, eyes narrowing in suspicion. This time Wally looks up to see that look he knows pretty well by now. 

 

"What is it?" He asks with a sigh.

 

"Kaldur isn't telling the truth," Dick answers, he taps his pen against his desk as he glances back at Bruce's door. "They're hiding something."

 

"It might just be your paranoia kicking in," Wally half jokes. 

 

Dick offers a quick smile but seems otherwise distracted as he sends one last look in Kaldur's direction.

 

 

-

 

 

**Captain Wayne's Office**

_**several moments earlier  
** _

_**  
** _

 

 

"What is it that you wanted to discuss, Sargeant?" Bruce asks.

 

Kaldur pauses for a moment, before he clears his throat. "I spoke to Detective Harper last night."

 

Bruce tilts his head minutely. His expression remaining the same as it was before Kaldur spoke. Not showing any hints of surprise or disappointment, like Kaldur had expected. 

 

It was oddly comforting in a way. 

 

"I know it's against protocol to speak to him while he's undercover. But he shared some concerns with me involving the case," Kaldur explains.

 

"Any of his concerns should have been reported to the officer in charge of his case."

 

Kaldur nods, "I understand. But he was... He didn't know who else to turn to. Roy isn't sure how much trust the GCPD has in him due to recent events."

 

Bruce sat up more, leaning his forearms against his desk. "You're referring to how all recent Intel provided by Harper ended up being wrong."

 

It's not a question but Kaldur answers anyways, "Yes. He believes that Savage has a mole on the force, that's why all his Intel leads to nothing."

 

There's a moment of silence as Bruce looks almost thoughtfully to the side. Finally, he asks, "Does he have any ideas of who it might be?"

 

"No. Do you think he's right? That we have a mole?"

 

"I wouldn't rule it out completely. But if there is a mole we need to find them before Savage is aware that we know."

 

Kaldur nods, "Agreed. So, what's the plan?"

 

Bruce hums slightly, tapping his fingers against his desk. "We'll need to be discreet, nobody else can know about this. Understood?"

 

"What about the squad?" Kaldur asks, thinking about how much easier the help of the team would make this.

 

"If Harper can't pinpoint which department the mole is in, we have to consider everyone in the precinct as a suspect."

 

Kaldur pauses, looking back towards the door briefly. "Surely, nobody on the squad is the mole. They can't be."

 

"Why not?"

 

"Because I know them and I don't believe they would do that," Kaldur answers.

 

Bruce frowns. "Sargeant, if you don't think people can surprise you, then you're not as good of a detective as I thought you were."

 

"But not these people. I know them, I trust them with my life."

 

"That may be the case but even those we trust can change and do things we don't expect," Bruce replies after a moment. "So, this has to stay between us."

 

Kaldur thinks that over, he thinks Bruce has a point even though he refuses to believe any of them are the mole. He nods, "Yes, sir."

 

 

-

 

 

 

They're at the bar after work and Kaldur keeps glancing at his phone more than usual. Eventually he gets up and says, "I have to go, I'll see you guys tomorrow."

 

Dick zeroes in on that dropping the conversation he was having with Conner. "Where are you going?"

 

"I promised my neighbor I'd watch her kids tonight," Kaldur explains quickly as he puts on his jacket. "Have a good night."

 

Dick watches him walk away with that same thoughtful and almost suspicious expression. It makes Wally sigh heavily. 

 

"Seriously? It's probably nothing," Wally says, earning strange looks from the others. 

 

"What's probably nothing?" Conner asks. 

 

"Dick thinks Kaldur is hiding something," Wally explains, before Dick can say anything. 

 

"What? Seriously?"

 

"It's because he is hiding something," Dick argues. 

 

"You think everyone is hiding something," Wally says exasperated, rolling his eyes at the expression on Dick's face.

 

"That's because everyone is hiding something," Conner says, as if that is a fact of life. 

 

"Don't encourage him!"

 

Dick rolls his eyes, looking at Wally, "If you think Kaldur isn't hiding something then fine ignore it. But I will find out whatever it is."

 

Artemis sighs heavily, rubbing at her temple as if to ward away any headache, "We're not at work you can drop the detective act."

 

"Yeah, I don't think he knows how to turn it off," Conner says.

 

"Well, when I'm right, I'll be more than willing to hear your apologies," Dick says smugly as he swipes the last wing before Wally can grab it. 

 

"I think you need to get out more," Artemis says, shaking her head. "When was the last time you went on a date?"

 

Dick shrugs, "Couple of weeks ago. When was yours?"

 

Artemis squints at him and says, "Wednesday."

 

"I still can't believe you got a girlfriend out of that singles night. The person I met there lied about their name and stole my wallet," Wally says with a huff. 

 

"Oh my God, that's awful. did you report it?" Megan asks.

 

Wally shakes his head, "Nah, I didn't have anything in there except three bucks and an expired coupon."

 

"That actually makes it sadder," Conner shakes his head.

 

"It's Artemis' fault, she's the one who dragged me to that place," Wally argues. 

 

"Wait, you went to a single's night together?" Dick asks, his expression nothing but pure amusement.

 

"Shut up, I didn't drag you there," Artemis says. "And yes, us and Kaldur went."

 

"It was magic themed," Wally supplies. Which he instantly regrets because it only makes Dick grin even more, and Wally doesn't know whether he likes it or if he's annoyed by it.

 

"Wait, a magician pick pocketed you?" Conner asks, raising a brow and it's clear that he's trying not to laugh.

 

Wally sighs heavily, leaning back against his seat. "Yeah."

 

"It's Gotham, what did you expect?"

 

Wally groans and shoots Dick an annoyed look, "please, stop saying 'it's Gotham' to explain everything!"

 

Megan hums, tilting he head, "you do say that a lot."

 

"Because it's true," Dick says, "It's weird in this city. And you can't trust anyone, not even magicians."

 

"He's kind of got a point," Artemis says, taking a drink and looking at her phone. "Shit, I gotta go before I'm late."

 

"Late for your date with Zatanna," Dick says smugly, watching as she fumbles with her phone.

 

Artemis stills and squints at him, "How did you know that?"

 

"I'm a detective, it's what I do," Dick replies casually shrugging as he smirks back at her. 

 

"It's really creepy," she responds, glaring at him. "And I'm leaving now."

 

As Artemis walks away, Wally turns to look at Dick expectantly, "Seriously, how did you know that?"

 

"A detective never reveals his secrets."

 

"That's magicians," Conner points out. 

 

Dick shrugs, "Same difference," he says dismissively. 

 

Wally rolls his eyes, picking at the remaining fries in front of him. "I still can't believe Zatanna turned out to be her real name."

 

"Bitter much?" Dick asks, chuckling as he watches Wally's face. 

 

 

-

 

 

Dick comes back to the table with more drinks and another order of wings and fries. He slides in across from Wally since it's now just the two of them at the table. 

 

Wally wastes no time digging into the food.

 

"What happened to the lawyer?" Dick asks after a moment.

 

"Hm?" Wally hums mouth full and looks up at him questioningly. 

 

Dick's expression is neutral as he grabs a wing of his own. "Why did you go to a single's night? I thought you had that date with the lawyer."

 

Wally has his mouth full of food, glad that it gives him a chance to think about how to answer. He swallows his food, then says, "Uh, you know, I had to keep my options open. Besides the date... It didn't really go well."

 

Dick doesn't respond and his face gives nothing away. "Well, that's good," he says. 

 

Wally freezes as he stares at Dick, unsure of how to respond. 

 

"It's probably for the best that it didn't work out with the lawyer," Dick replies, before Wally can ask anything. "He sucks."

 

"You didn't even meet the guy," Wally says, rolling his eyes.

 

"Yeah, but you told me he was a defence attorney, so, that tells me everything I need to know," Dick replies.

 

Wally cracks a grin, already knowing what he's going to say next. "Defence Attorney's are all monsters," they both say at the same time.

 

"Exactly," Dick replies, grinning broadly. His grin softens, and he says, "You deserve better than that."

 

It sounds so sincere that it makes Wally pause, like it might mean something more. His own grin softening as he looks at Dick. For a split second, he thinks maybe Artemis had been at least somewhat right.

 

"I have a serious question," he blurts out without much thought. 

 

Dick is still smiling at him, shrugging he says, "Sure."

 

"I, uh..." Wally begins, then stops. Looking at him, he can't bring himself to do it, instead he asks, "So, every time Jason told us he couldn't help with something because he was volunteering at the orphanage. Was he actually telling the truth?"

 

There's a pause, Dick's expression shifting to confused for a brief second, before he lets out a startled laugh. "That's your question?"

 

"Yes! I need to know!"

 

Dick's laughter subsides a bit, as he nods. "Yeah, actually he was. At least most of the time."

 

"Most of the time?"

 

"Sometimes when he uses the excuse of 'helping the orphans' is for family time or emergencies," Dick explains.

 

"Seriously?" Wally asks, "Why? He could just tell us he's busy with family."

 

"He thinks he's funny," Dick says, shaking his head with an amused look as if there is actually joke there. Then says, "You really thought he was lying about volunteer work?"

 

"Ugh, now you're making me feel like an ass for thinking he lied," Wally says, sighing as he thinks it over now.

 

Dick laughs at him, making Wally smile despite himself.

 

"I mean, it's Jason," Wally says, fumbling to ignore any feelings cropping up. "What was I supposed to think?"

 

"Clearly, it's a front for his side gig in the mob," Dick says nodding seriously, but there's just an edge of mirth in his eyes. It's obvious he's making fun of Wally.

 

"Oh, come on, those are still valid theories!"

 

 

 

 


End file.
